If you are a parent today, chances are bullying is somewhere on your worry list. You’re not alone—about 35% of U.S. parents with children under 18 say they’re extremely or very worried that their kids might be bullied at some point. But what is bullying, and how are you going to recognize it?
The Real Definition
Bullying isn’t just “kids being kids” or typical playground disagreements. According to the CDC, bullying is “any unwanted aggressive behavior(s) by another youth or group of youths, who are not siblings or current dating partners. It involves an observed or perceived power imbalance, and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated.”
The key elements here are aggression, power imbalance, and repetition. It’s not a one-time argument between equals—it’s systematic targeting of someone who can’t easily defend themselves.
How Common Is It Really?
As a parent and therapist, the numbers are unsettling. One out of every five (19.2%) students report being bullied, according to recent national data. The good news? That’s actually down from 28% at the beginning of the last decade, showing that anti-bullying efforts are making a difference.
Interestingly, 21.8% of females and 16.7% of males reported experiencing bullying, revealing a notable gender gap in reported incidents.
The Four Main Types of Bullying
Bullying comes in different flavors, and understanding them can help you spot warning signs:
Physical Bullying – This involves hurting a person’s body or belongings, including hitting, kicking, and stealing or breaking someone’s stuff. It’s often the most obvious form because it leaves visible evidence.
Verbal Bullying – Including name-calling and taunting, this is the most frequent type of bullying. It includes threats, insults, and hurtful teasing that goes beyond normal social banter.
Social/Relational Bullying – This hurts someone’s reputation or relationships, with examples including spreading rumors and embarrassing someone publicly. It’s particularly common among girls and can be devastating to a child’s social standing.
Cyberbullying – Cyberbullying manifests as text messages, social media posts, emails, and other digital harassment. What makes this particularly harmful is that unlike bullying offline, online bullying can follow the child wherever they go, via social networks, gaming and mobile devices.
Why Cyberbullying Hits Differently
Online bullying deserves special attention because it’s relatively new territory for many parents. Cyberbullied students had clearly higher levels of anxiety, especially compared to those subjected to verbal and physical bullying. Old school verbal and physical bullying can end with the school day. Digital harassment can happen 24/7 and potentially reach greater audiences.
The Long Game
Here’s what every parent should know: bullying victimization during childhood and adolescence has life-long consequences and is a public health issue of national concern. Bullying is not just playground drama that kids will “get over.” It can have lasting impacts on mental health, academic performance, and social development.
What This Means for You
As a parent, understanding that bullying is a serious, defined behavior (not just conflict between kids) helps you respond appropriately. If your child reports being bullied, please take it seriously. Document incidents, communicate with school officials, and don’t hesitate to seek help if the situation escalates or doesn’t improve.
Remember, most kids don’t tell adults when they’re being bullied, so keeping open lines of communication and watching for changes in behavior, mood, or academic performance is crucial.
References
- PACER Center. Bullying Statistics. Retrieved from https://www.pacer.org/bullying/info/stats/
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2025, January 31). Bullying | Youth Violence Prevention. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/youth-violence/about/about-bullying.html
- StopBullying.gov. (2024, October 9). Facts About Bullying. Retrieved from https://www.stopbullying.gov/resources/facts
- Pew Research Center. (2023, November 17). 9 facts about bullying in the U.S. Retrieved from https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/11/17/9-facts-about-bullying-in-the-us/
- MedlinePlus. Bullying and Cyberbullying. Retrieved from https://medlineplus.gov/bullyingandcyberbullying.html
- NSPCC. Helping Children Deal with Bullying & Cyberbullying. Retrieved from https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/bullying-and-cyberbullying/
- National Center for Biotechnology Information. Identifying and Addressing Bullying. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK441930/
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024, October). Bullying victimization occurs when a person is exposed to aggressive behaviors repeatedly over time. Data Brief No. 514. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db514.htm
- Women on Guard. (2024, June 30). Bullying Statistics & Numbers in 2024 Revealed. Retrieved from https://womenonguard.com/statistics/bullying/
- Taylor & Francis Online. Cyberbullying and its relationship with physical, verbal, and relational bullying: a structural equation modelling approach. Retrieved from https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/01443410.2020.1769033
